I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
