I'm really into asian looking animals
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
