strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
