at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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