Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
