Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
