So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
