HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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