it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
