12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I want to be your penis for a week.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
