At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
