It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
