so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize