I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
