I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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