So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
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YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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