Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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