Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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