if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just gargled with NyQuil
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
