in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
that may or may not have been my penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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