So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
