As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
