I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
