The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
BRING THE BAGELS
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
