We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
As shirtless as possible
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
