Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
