Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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