I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
