69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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