he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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