i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
