After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
