Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
