Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize