What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
