New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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