brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
