Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
