please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize