He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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