I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize