And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My dick has a subreddit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
