He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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