Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize