6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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