her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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