I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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