matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize