You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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