I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize