i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
