Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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