this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
