Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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