i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
