not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
