im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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