please come you make the beer taste better
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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