why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
