Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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