my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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