she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
